Ohh my pathos hurts

youth is definately wasted on the young. My mom's always yelling at me about some "How can anyone navigate through your room with all this crap in the way" or "why did you wait until the night before to type that three page report when you knew about it for two weeks?" I guess my parents are too old to understand what it's like to be a teenager. There's no time to do work; I mean, I barely have time in the day to be lazy as it is right now. Responsibility has got to be the hardest part of my life. I don't do my homework at home. I barely pay attention in class. It's just too much of an overload to remember to turn my shirts right side out while I'm in deep thought pondering the metaphorical value of milkman's existence (yeah right). And then I never get to show that I'm responsible because of past irresponsibilities. Why can't I take the car out if I forgot to turn off the lights last time? I mean I learned my lesson... Oh well. It's so hard being such a tender age. I'm stuck between childhood and adulthood. Total freedom is a couple years away, but I'm leaving my childhood for lots of work and old age. It reminds me of some guy I saw on the street. He was lecturing his kid because the kid was whining about going to some party or something. He said "Growing up sucks. You better enjoy your life before you grow up." Of course, we all wish we were someone else because we will never be that someone else. Little kids wish they were older and I wish I was a little kid again.

Fam

My family is very close to me. Sometimes they are a bit too close. My mom always makes me have dinner with her and my sister. Every night we sit down to a nice dinner. Nobody can eat until we bless the food. Nobody can leave until everyone is done eating. We don't eat out very much either. I feel like I'm spending too much time with my family and not enough time with my friends. It's always good though to see my mom or dad at my lacrosse games or crosscountry meets. I really rely on my family for support. My mom needed help on the computer, and only I could show her what to do.

I also have too many family gatherings. All my relatives on my dad's side used to live in Georgia. We would have thanksgiving at my grandmother's condo, christmas at my aunt's house, and other "get-togethers" at my uncle's house. I sometimes wish people would give me space. But I don't always feel like that...

Uh... yeah.

I'm so stupid

Today I still don't know anything about fate and free will. What happens if I learn my fate and my fate changes? For example, in some greek story, a king learns his grandson will kill him, so he throw him into the sea in a chest. The grandson survives (of course) and grows up to be a great athlete. At some Olympics match many years later, he accidentally throws a discus into the crowd during discus throw and kills his grandfather. Now if the grandfather had never gone to see his fate, his grandson may have never killed him. Or the Oracle could have said something different that would have come true instead.

The hardest question I can't answer is what to do when I learn my fate. Should I accept it if it stinks? I know it would come true no matter what, but I might just change my life to a degree to where it does come true. Maybe the answer is in Harold Crick: I must accept my fate and be responsible for it. Or maybe there's no answer, and I'm a Govinda getting in my way of searching.

The Ultimate Answer

There's definitely some fate in the world. As people say, "History repeats itself." Sometimes I know if something will happen to me, and sometimes I don't know, but it's going to happen either way. I guess we all know somewhere in our subconscious minds about the future. I always seem to have deja vu. I'll be dreaming a dream, and it comes true after a while. I usually forget the dream until I have deja vu though.